2010

My final, yet halfhearted attempt to revive this dying blog....wish me luck!

Sayang....do you think it's going to be a boy or a girl?

According to my husband:
if it's a boy, he's gonna have a huge *censored*. like his dad.
if it's a girl, she's gonna be an independent smart ass. like her mom.

What can i say.....

listening to: Regina Spektor

life as i know it

July 6 2006:
It HAS been a while. Too many things have been happening that i resisted putting any entry down, because then i would have to write about so many stuff and i don't have much time for that. And i'm not even going to talk about the crappiest internet connection ever. Lets not even go there.I'm a newlywed now. A wife. if u can even imagine that. Still getting used to the idea. it's not easy, when u live most of your life independently. And living in this tiny little space with no other partitions to separate u from your significant other once in a while,well, in moments of drama, can be very trying. But it's been great up to now. don't know if milacku feels the same though. hehe. I hope he does. I can't ask for more. He's been lovely, so understanding and so patient. My famously unreasonable moodswings never faze him. Dekuji lasko!_____________________________________________________
April 3 2007:
I have been soooo lazy! and uninspired, hence the sparseness(?) of entries in this blog. Since the new year begin, i have been unemployed, and i can't say enough how boring it had become after the first month. But the silver lining is that i'm pregnant! 18 weeks now, just into my 5th month. It is still early days, and i know i shouldn't get too excited and attached, but i can't help it! especially now that i can feel tiny flutters and squirms in my belly, still not very often, mostly after i had a meal and relaxing. it makes it all the more REAL. Yet i can't shake the apprehension that probably all expectant couples feel. I hope everything goes well, and my baby stays healthy and safe.

more

You Should Be a Romance Novelist

You see the world as it should be, and this goes double for all matters of the heart. You can find the romance in any situation, and you would make a talented romance story writer... And while you may be a traditional romantic, you're just as likely to be drawn to quirky or dark love stories. As long as it deals with infatuation, heartbreak, and soulmates - you could write it.

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

try it....mine hits bullseye!

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

favourite quote of the day

I sometimes wonder if this readiness, this expectation, prevents the miracle from happening. But I have no choice. He is coming, and I am here.
- from the time traveler's wife

Favourite word of the day....

understanding

Lunchtime on Monday...

Am at work now, well technically. It's lunchtime. We have just discharged our last patient ( to Ema's annoyance, should she know about it). It'll be just about five days before my 2 week holiday starts. I'm flying home, and i can barely contain my excitement. It's been almost a year since i've been back, and it is about time to re-fuel. i need the malaysian air, humidity and all, at least for a while. Sometimes, being home kind of put things into perspective. i need that now, with all these confusion that's been going on. i've been kind of going about my days in sort of a daze lately... it feels like everything is a question mark. i just dread the thought actually sitting down, and really think things out, find answers and make decisions. one might say that i'm too scared to face reality. chickenshit. hehe. oh well. others might say i'm unthankful. i've a wellpaying, somewhat distinguished job, a caring family, a great, loving boyfriend and a bunch of absolutely lovely, there-for-me friends. and yet i'm still disheartened. i still wonder if i haven't hit bullseye; haven't found my true calling....i don't know. well who says life is straightforward?

current playlist: so beautiful - darren hayes
hung up - madonna
kaiser chiefs

The Time Traveler's Wife

Just completed reading this exquisite book by Audrey Niffenegger. It has been a while since i cried reading a book (14 years to be exact - cried reading the Catcher in the Rye at 14).
The Time Traveler's Wife, what can i say. What an imagination, what depth and originality. It swallows you with the play of vastly varying emotions in its characters. It draws you in and hypnotizes you - i finished it in more or less 7 hours in two sitting. I just could not put it down. Even with the obvious fantasy of time travelling as the core of the story, this book is truly an old-fashioned love story at heart. I just love it. I feel for and empathize with Henry and Clare. I want to have what they have with each other. I'm getting dramatic! hehe
Anyways, here is an excerpt from the prologue of the book. Just in case it'll whet your appetite to actually read the whole thing!

Clare: It's hard being left behind. I wait for Henry, not knowing where he is, wondering if he's okay. It's hard to be the one who stays.

I keep myself busy. Time goes faster that way.

I go to sleep alone, and wake up alone. I take walks. I work until I'm tired. I watch the wind play with the trash that's been under the snow all winter. Everything seems simple until you think about it. Why is love intensified by absence?

Long ago, men went to sea, and women waited for them, standing on the edge of the water, scanning the horizon for the tiny ship. Now I wait for Henry. He vanishes unwillingly, without warning. I wait for him. Each moment that I wait feels like a year, an eternity. Each moment is as slow and transparent as glass. Through each moment I can see infinite moments lined up, waiting. Why has he gone where I cannot follow?
- from the Time Traveler's Wife by A.Niffenegger

Bliss in Brno :)

the Holy month of Ramadhan...

Kepada semua muslimin dan muslimat, selamat menyambut bulan Ramadhan al-Mubarak!

May Allah S.W.T blesses and accepts our fasting ibadah this year.

Thank you

There are so many things that I want to say to my baby, but I'm afraid that they are all going to sound so cheesy and cliched. So I'll keep them to myself.
However I do want to thank him for being who he is. Just absolutely perfect.

Milacku, you just know exactly what to say and do, to make this undoubtedly screwed up girl feel so right,so contented, just simply so happy.
Being the neurotic person that I am, I can't help, now and again, to feel that this is just too damn perfect to last for long, but I am trying my best to ignore these negative thoughts. To accept that there will always be risks that may be nullified if we have faith, and work our best at this.
Miluji te, Honzicku.

i just cannot stand being helpless like this, so powerless over something. there is this dread that spreads like wildfire. it starts from the centre, from the pit of my stomach and like volcanic lava seeps slowly but surely into my limbs, leaving them weak and cold; but the worse is when it finds its way into my chest, where my living, beating cardia would be, squeezing it mercilessly, so excruciating to the core of my being.
i'm just an ordinary girl, i have the flaws and weaknesses of a human being. fear, insecurity, jealousy, resentment, mistrust.
but i do try. in a blameless situation as this might become, i try to be strong.
i can't help myself. love has no reasons.

You say the word
you know I will find you
Or if you need some time
I don't mind
I don't hold on
to the tail of your kite
I'm not like the girls that you've known
But i believe I'm worth coming home to
Kiss away night
This girl only sleeps with Butterflies
- Tori Amos

how can i match up to someone he's been with for 10 fucking years.....

Norwegian Wood

Just finished Haruki Murakami's bestseller lastnight. loved it.
his style of storytelling, at least for this particular book, is reminiscent of the catcher in the rye to me. as was the protagonist, Toru Watanabe; sort of like a less dark version of Holden Caulfield, but just as brooding nonetheless.
Murakami is now officially one of my favourite contemporary writers, well as far as love stories go, i suppose. South of the Border, West of the Sun was the book i read first. the story was simple, but it was his style of writing, and the development of his characters that pulled me. it was a short novel, so i was hungry for more. naturally i chose to read Norwegian Wood, with it being the novel that shot Murakami to international fame. this is another love story, albeit a more complex, moving tale. i cannot decide whether to laugh or cry with every new development in the story, the way Murakami made each of his characters to be not without emotional unrest, it was all very engagingly touching.
The Wind up Bird Chronicles will be my next foray into the uniquely bewitching world of Haruki Murakami.

you bring me to the shore
sighs, moans, proverbial?
familiarity unsettling
yet I allow the sand to warm these toes,
the sun to caress this skin.
is there a need to shield my eyes from the glare of your brilliance?
the pisces of my nature, may cause our demise
or will I let the daisies bloom,
allow the sweetness of loving
invade this wall surrounding.
your kind eyes,
your knowing touch,
changes me
moves me
stirs something within
that has been in a long restless slumber.
into the winter of my soul
your gentle voice penetrates.
hold on to me
let not the merest sigh escape
let us stay alive
in this transcendental experience eternal....

-leia

current playlist:
sleeps with butterflies - tori amos
the power of orange knickers - tori amos feat. damien rice
by my side - 3 versions by INXS, JD fortune and suzie mcneill (i'm terrible!)
trees - marty casey (he's delicious)
doth i protest too much - alanis morissette
the blower's daughter - damien rice

quizzing when bored

Your a perfect kisser! your a little of
everything! you keep your partner on their
toes, and always wanting more! Your kisses can
be soft, innocent, sexual, passionate and
senseual! Everyone must want alittle from you!
But good job keep it up^_^

What type of kisser are you?(pics)[[for guys and girls]]

Your personality is that of a true day-dreamer.
Somehow, you're not too satisfied with reality,
and so you take it upon yourself to find it in
your dreams. You're honest, a bit random, and
are a great friend. You can sometimes, well a
lot of the time have mood swings, which confuse
the people close to you, but that's okay. As
long as you have great friends, a great
personality, and a great outlook on life,
you'll be fine. You've got people around you
who are willing to keep you up when you fall
down, which you have many times. You have great
talents as a writer, especially when you write
fantasy. You are the dreamer, the sarcastic
one, and the one with great come-backs. Keep on
dreaming, and you're sure to have an extreme,
life-it-to-the-fullest, Grade-A life!

What Kind of Person are You? [beautiful anime pics, and lengthy details, as usual!]
brought to you by Crows!%20You're%20willing%20to%20try%20new%20things,%20evenif%20they%20seem%20a%20bit%20odd%20at%20first.%20Maybe%20you'vefallen%20in%20love%20enough%20times%20to%20know%20not%20to%20takeit%20at%20face%20value.%20%20src=" loop=100>>

i've my head up in the clouds lately...i think i'm too old for that, but sometimes, u just can't help it!! it's even reflected in my current playlist:
high - james blunt
you found me - kelly clarkson
nine million bicycles - katie melua
the other side of the world - kt tunstall
the one i love - david gray
now and always - david gray
counting down the days - natalie imbruglia
spoiled - joss stone
the remedy - seether (this doesnt count i suppose)
dare - gorillaz (nor this!)

So unlike me. i blame milacku! but i'm sure he doesn't mind... ^_^