blog this

This feels weird....I've always considered myself as some kind of a writer, but that was eons ago. I've lost touch. My vocab. sucks, but what the hey, beats lying in bed staring at the cobwebs at the corner of the ceiling (figure of speech, am not a slob with cobwebs on her ceiling). The idea of anyone being even the slightest interested in my soliloquies is well, nonexistent. But this is not for anyone, whilst being out there for everyone, it isn't. Maybe, some sort of a therapy for me In fact, you may call it a kind of an experiment. I am rambling.
Say, Padi sounds unbelievably like Pearl Jam in Work of Heaven, not that Fadly sounds like Eddie or their music sounds alike, but I suppose the combination of both in this case makes them aurally similar! (Digressing!)
Ok let see, how do I start with this...I suppose I should write about my day. Ha Ha. Considering I did absolutely nothing for the past few weeks, what a fine time I choose to start a blog. :P
However, I Do have a whole load of things in my mind though. Don't know if they are worth having down on paper, or in this case, on screen. Hmm...nah, too tired.
Things to do: top up credit card
Call Occup. Health CUH for medical check up appointment
Call Maiza & Yvonne re house
Call Izzat re house
Look for accom. for last night in London
Try finishing last part of Black House, for goodness’s sakes!
Arrghhh!!! So much to do, so little time.

Sum'in i wrote 2 summers ago...


Summer Romance

I dig my toes into the sand...
The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanke...

I wish Tristan were here with me this very moment. It is too glorious not to share with anyone. The sky is almost azure in its painting-like richness, the sun shining brightly without any signs of a cloud to hinder its magnificence, the gleaming calmness of the turquoise ocean, the cool summer breeze whispering the promise of a beautiful day. We would sit by the lapping waves and make sandcastles with beautiful coral fences, and Tristan would probably catch a baby crab and trap the poor thing in what would more likely turn out to be a prison than a castle made of sand. We would tell each other ghost stories in broad daylight, making them ridiculously up as we go along, and we would laugh so hard until tears stream down our faces. Then when we are tired, we would just sit on the pure white sand and watch the sun go down.

I lean against the wind, pretend that I am weightless...
And in this moment I am happy...

I open my eyes and inhale the fresh salty air deeply. The sun feels deliciously warm and toasty on my skin. Pure Bliss. But Tristan is not here. No sign of dark eyes or careless hair. Not even the sound of teasing laughter.

"...lighten up, will you!"

I have, Tris, believe you me I have. No more dark brooding thoughts for this girl. I am happy and free. Free because you owned me. It is funny how life contradicts. Funny, but not necessarily bad. You showed me life is too precious to be fretting about anything and everything. That we are alive and happy and healthy and blessed to be some of the chosen ones to be put here on sweet earth by God, that we should be thankful for that fact alone each and every day of our lives. You taught me the meaning of appreciation, of empathy, of serenity. And especially of the underrated and overused word that is Love.
I remember the day we first met. You were on the floor with both your feet practically behind your ears, and I was on the mat next to you, still struggling with my Sun Salutation. The smell of ylang ylang incense wafted around us and the calming voice of the yoga mistress drifted in the background as she told the next group to breathe in deep.
"You're lucky if you can actually get into any position with that ferocious frown on your face,'"you called out cheerfully, toes wriggling weirdly past your shoulders. You had this big smile on your face, the same goofy grin that, from then on, never failed to greet me every time we meet. The very same smile I'd grown so fond of, only that first time, it was so annoying I had this urgent impulse to smack it off your wonderful face.

There's something about the look in your eyes...
Something I notice when the light was just right...
It reminded me twice that I was alive...

How was it Tris that you always managed to get this sulking, angry girl to feel like she owns the world and everything in it? I saw the colours of the rainbow, smelled the sweetness of a rose, felt the softness of a freshly fallen snowflake, all since I met you. You heightened my senses, soothed my wounded heart. You were the chocolate sauce on my favourite sundae. You were my one transcendental experience.

I lay my head onto the sand...
The sky resembles a backlit canopy with holes punched in it...

I's late. I look up to the heavens. A clear starry night like this is not made for crying, so I wiped that treacherous tear away from my cheek.
I remember how we used to spend almost every Sunday on this very same beach. You would lie spread-eagled on the sand so close to the water, you'd close your heavy-lashed brown eyes and sing some blues, preferably something by Bob Dylan or Tom Waits, and you'd sing it loud and clear in your laidback baritone, the sun shining brightly on your face. And I would laugh and shake my head and stare down at you and marvel at how carefree a soul can be. Your zest for life never failed to amaze me. You charmed every person around you in your own sweet unpretentious ways. How you would get a person's full attention with such effortlessness when you engage them in a conversation, and leave everyone satisfied without giving away too much of yourself. But I know all there is to know about you Tristan. And I suspected you knew more about me than you care to admit.

You have only been gone ten days...
And already I’m wasting away...

The cool gentle breeze rustled the palm fronds that sweep the shoreline. I miss Tristan. I miss the laughter we shared, the strength we gave one another, the tears we sometimes caused each other, the comfort we received from each other's presence. I miss the ethereal bond that connected our souls.
You promised to love me for the rest of your life Tris, and that was a promise well kept. Now I only have to love you for the rest of mine.


THE END

**Words in italic by the wonderful Invisible Floating Torso Man.