do you ever wonder what the point of it all is? i don't doubt that most of you out there do, especially the so-called slackers of my generation :>...wonder if some are still ambiguously 'slacking', or have moved on appropriately to greater heights of living, having found the long-searched reason and meaning for their existence. me, i'm somewhere in the middle. sometimes it feels like there's nothing more that could be asked for than this blessed fortune, other times it feels like, is this it? i know that sounds unthankful, but i am thankful for all there is...
it's just this restlessness that appears uninvited...sometimes i can choose to ignore it, but there are those desperate times when it is all-consuming...
i wish i am relieved of this ambiguity....
i don't want to succumb to this self-doubt or surrender to any form of disillusionment. what do i do? is there such a thing as profound happiness? will i be contented? will i feel complete? will i be appeased with myself?
i am still searching, not for the meaning of life, of my life, but for what i can do to enrich it, to be able to affect the lives of others in the best way possible, to be not someBody, but someOne......insyaAllah.
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esok kena pi Tralee, ugh..2 hours of busride-i can think of better things to do with my time (sleep).
i sure hope that this apartment is The One. i've had enough of searching dah. well, actually i didnt really do much, it's just the worrying of not having a place to live yet that's causing the stress. hihi
at least, as a consolation, ada makan2 lagi esok at syaz's/izzat's/farhan's....syaz is cooking, and if that isn't fantastic, i don't know what is...he's such a great cook :> tho' bengkek gak tadi he had to ask agee to borrow my mixer, wouldnt even get out of the car in front of my house! syaz?? what the--? cam tak biasa...maybe he thought E's parents and my (extended) family still ada kot...malu konon. gotta get home quickly from Tralee in time for the foods!!
just remembered my book and cds (pearl jam's Ten included, demit) is with F. gotta get them back come hell or high water. the q is how and when....
i wonder what happened with that person lastnight with that other person....how'd i get in the middle of all that? i was quite pissed off. maybe i was too hard on him, but hey, sapa suruh pakai tuduh aje. i don't even know her that well. i wonder if F has anything to do with all this. don't know and don't care and hope i don't get mixed up again with that lot. argh. sabar lia....
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